18 things I learned in 18 years
Thanks for all the birthday wishes!
Creaminess- 4/5 dense but also airy
Softness- 4/5 soft and melts in your mouth
Saltiness- 3/5 it was caramelized maple butter, but kinda tasted like bacon??
Spread- 5/5, it was partially melted tho
In a couple of days, the decade in which I lived most of my conscious life will come to an end. As much as I have thoroughly enjoyed saying “see you next decade” to the teachers of whose final I just failed, I never really let it sink in that another 10 years of my life is about to start. A decade where I’ll be 2,025 miles away from home living with three girls who are not my two sisters and mom. A decade in which I may meet my husband (lol cute) or have my children (still debating between having 4 or 6, let me know). A decade where maybe I’ll become a little easier on myself and more forgiving with my past, my mistakes, the person I have become. A decade in which I will become an adult (in 16 days!) and figure out how to live my life without calling my mom from my bed to bring me water.
I hope in 2020 colleges will be fighting over who gets the privilege to have you as a student (and then subsequently the search for roommates as amazing as mine), lots of good butter, and happiness. In the next decade, let’s learn to be nicer, more patient, and more forgiving to ourselves and others.
Happy New Year and Roll Tide!
This review comes from the Waysider in Tuscaloosa, AL. A cute little breakfast stop filled with families of every generation, former students coming home to see the Tide crush its opponents, and current students making memories that they will then tell their children about in the same restaurant when they come home. Also, I would be lying if I didn’t think it was a sign from God Nick Saban that The Waysider gave me a large bowl of butter without even asking, and one of the reasons Bama passed the vibe check.
Creaminess- 4/5: Very Dense
Saltiness- 3/5: At first, it had that very distinct butter taste and was not salty until the end
Softness- 5/5: Super soft and did not disrupt the softness of the biscuit
I have a confession: I still play.
Not like with dolls, and dress up costumes, but with writing stories on my computer. I create little worlds, alter egos, characters, lives, deaths, and everything in between.
I write stories about my life through an alter ego named Sloane Taylor. She is outgoing, confident, formidable, and tender. She charms everyone she meets with her quick wit or funny one liners. She is not afraid to call out those who deserve it. Sloane Taylor is quite the opposite of MJ Miller.
I created Sloane Taylor after “WWBD? Or What Would Beyonce Do?” started trending my Freshman year. I do not know what Beyonce would do under the stress of 3 AP classes or the worry of a class presentation. Beyonce is probably not worried about impressing 35 teenagers with a slideshow about motifs in To Kill a Mockingbird, but MJ Miller is. Beyonce didn’t seem relatable to me, but Sloane Taylor did. Sloane Taylor was able to be molded to my life, my situations, to what I wanted to be in life.
I think my mom is suspicious about my playing, and still thinks I play. She isn’t wrong, but the reasons I do it are not the ones she’s thinking of, most likely. I play as a coping mechanism.
So when I do my complicated math homework, I do it as Sloane Taylor, because Sloane Taylor doesn’t struggle through basic trigonometry. I walk around school as Sloane because Sloane Taylor rules the halls. MJ Miller’s anxiety makes her want to crawl into a hole when she arrives on campus, for fear of one person not liking her. Sloane Taylor would tell someone to shove it if they said something mean about her. MJ Miller would internalize it.
MJ Miller ran to the bathroom Sophomore year in tears when she was called to the board to do a math problem- that was to her- undoable. Sloane Taylor tried her best, laughed it off, and sat back down- perfectly fine. Senior year MJ Miller admits to not knowing the answer, and being perfectly fine with it.
When MJ Miller bakes cookies for herself and friends, they somehow seem to disappear with each person who asks. People who probably don’t even know my name, or know me as anything but cookie girl. Sloane Taylor bakes cookies, and will tell people that they can not have a cookie. She uses her influence and power to be The Sloane Taylor not cookie girl.
Eventually Sloane Taylor slipped into me, and now there’s more cookies for me and my friends, not for the kid in my chemistry class that will probably not remember my kindness.
Sloane spends her time at hospitals brightening children’s days and is the president of her debutante program. I also spend time at children's hospitals and was a few votes short of becoming the president, but Sloane just does it better. Sloane is just better. The world is run by Sloane, and she knows it.
I said I used Sloane Taylor as a coping mechanism to get through the mundane, scary parts of high school. I used Sloane as the person I wanted to be and become over the course of four years. Sometimes I took her on to get a little confidence boost with teachers, class presentations, or even meeting new people. I used Sloane’s no care attitude to brush off hurtful comments, positions I lost in student government, or just not to care so much about the opinions of people who don’t know me or care about me. Maybe MJ Miller was Sloane Taylor all along, and she just didn’t know it yet.
- very airy
- it was nutmeg flavored but complimented the bread well
- okay it was just like a lot of nutmeg
- Very Soft
- The hot bread made it easy to spread, but I think it would be spreadable anyway
14/20- I would say one of the most accurate scores I have given.
Do you remember in elementary school, you would lean back in a chair on one leg, waiting to see if you would fall backwards? That is what it feels like to get out of bed every day for me. Just on the edge, ready to tip, my heart and soul in my stomach.
I am really really sad. I feel like for the past month, I’m just an empty human being. The only thing I could do was lay in bed feeling completely hollow. I don’t think I'm naturally a sad person, I think I’m the polar opposite. I think my smile is my only redeeming quality, and I feel like if I were a Pantone color it would be a sunny yellow color (maybe a buttery yellow color). The worst part is that I have no reason as to why I’m so sad. I have no reason to be sad. My dad’s cancer is gone, my mom and I aren’t fighting, my friends have never felt more in my life, my classes are interesting and fun, Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey released killer albums, and my life is going really well! But I’m just really really sad.
I think I'm so broken all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put me together again.
I used to only cry from laughing too hard, and now I have cried everyday over nothing, I just can’t stop crying. I love to go running, but I’ve been so blue that I can’t find the will to go to the Rosebowl. I don’t know if I’m sad over the fact that this is my last year in little LC, my SAT scores (that somehow went down?), my life teeming with minor inconveniences, I don’t know what it is!
I normally try and find an ending to the blurbs before the review that leaves the reader with a sense of completeness.I want to earn the privilege of their time because there never seems to be enough hours in the day, and who would want to spend some of their limited time reading a butter blog? I think the fact that I can’t find an ending to this post, is because I don’t really know what to say, because I don’t know what I’m feeling.
This “salted European butter” from Gerard’s in Maui really did not live up to its name.
Bonus point for butter dish +1
Almost every day I run 5 miles. This past week, I've been lucky enough to run along the Hawaiian coastline and see turtles float in the ocean, occasionally coming up for air. It certainly has been a better view than the La Canada horse trails or the Rose Bowl track.
It got me thinking about why I run. When I was younger, I used to think that I could run away from all my problems, if I just ran fast enough. If I just turn up Jay Z's The Black Album loud enough I can run from the mean girls, the harsh teachers, the homework I don't understand, the monsters under my bed, and the painful thoughts roaming in my head. If I just go one more mile, another lap, I will have fully cleared my mind from all the things that made me want to run away in the first place. Or so I'd like to think. The thing is, is that running away from your problems does nothing make them follow you, and grow larger. Maybe I should take a note from the sea turtles, if the ocean gets to be too much, pop your head out and breathe.
Softness- 4/5: Soft like the waves lapping on shore
Creaminess- 4/5: Light and airy like the ocean breeze
Saltiness-5/5: Perfectly salty like the seawater
Spreadability-5/5: Spreads out like sails in the wind
"Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it."
Is a lyric from Taylor Swift's "All Too Well" (2012), and I think it encapsulates high school pretty well. When I was a freshman, I thought I would be in high school forever. Now, I'm taking my Junior year finals, touring colleges, and "studying" for the SAT. I have two more semesters left in little La Canada before going to Tuscaloosa, Boston, or New York.
I'm not paralyzed by time anymore, it's flying like a paper airplane. Right now I'm 17, and I have my whole life ahead of me, but for right now, it feels over. I know I still have Senior Year, but Senior Year is different. I already have 23 absences this year, what happens when I actually have Senioritis?
I'd like to think Ms. Swift was in my situation when she was 17. But she was on world tours, not college tours. She was winning Grammys and getting interrupted by Kanye. I have no singing talent (and haters of Taylor would probably argue that too), so I won't know what it's like to have millions of dollars,multiple houses, or friends like Gigi Hadid and Selena Gomez. I do know what it is like to be doubted, hated, loved, and called names. I don't quite have the ability to shed my snakeskin and create a new reputation, but in my few years left in this one horse town, I can make the most of my time here. For now, I can fill the blank space in my transcript, live fearlessly, and be enchanted by my surroundings. Don't blame me for shaking (it) off the rest of this treacherous, but delicate year. So long live, the memories we made, and hold onto the memories, they will hold on to you.
Enjoy your last few weeks Seniors, or the last few weeks of hell, Juniors. Underclassmen- really soak in the moments of high school, soon it will all be over. Eventually we will be 22 wishing we were fifteen, and be remembering LC all too well.
Cheesecake Factory Butter Review:
Softness: 5/5- melted in my mouth right away
Creaminess: 4/5- A little dense, and siry
Saltiness: 5/5- somehow the perfect amount?
Spread: 5/5 (on the best brown bread ever)
Bold indicates Songs, italicized indicates lyrics.
Your eyes, do not deceive you, some letters are bigger than others. Taylor writes a hidden message in all her lyrics for her fans. If you think you got it, write it in the comments below.
I have seventeen wishes:
1) I wish I were a freshmen again, because I honestly think that was the best version of myself, which is kinda sad in retrospect
2) I wish I could meet my best friends again, and remake all the memories we have
3) I wish I cared less about what people thought about me. I mean none of these people are going to affect my life moving forward, so why do I let their opinion take up space in my brain and rule my life now?
4) I wish I listened to my mom when she was just trying to be helpful
5) I wish I tried harder in school. I think one day my "no-care attitude" is going to bite me in the ass
6) I wish I didn't let things bother me so much
7) I wish to live in my happiest moments forever
8) I wish I didn't burn so many bridges, by never making them strong in the first place
9) I wish I didn't listen to Rumors (not the Fleetwood Mac, that album slaps)
10) I wish I made more time for things that make me happy
11) I wish I said "yes" more
12) I wish I were closer with my sisters
13) I wish that I stopped letting toxic people in my life
14) I wish that I listened to the universe more
15) I wish I let my creativity flow more
16) I wish to learn from my past, because it happened for a reason, and I should stop being mad at things I can't change.
17) I wish to change all the things that I want to change
Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, remains the happiest place on earth, not because of the rides, good food, or overpriced sweatpants, but because of the people we surround ourselves with when we're there. So I implore all of us to wish upon a star, spread some pixie dust, and be a little happier in 2019. If that means making a list of 17 things that you want to change about your life, then make it and change it. If that means surrounding yourselves with positive people, and cutting out negative ones, then do it. Every year on my birthday, I set a goal for myself, and this year's is to be happier. I hope you all are happier this year too, because happiness is the best thing.
I needed to use my tongue to spread it around
First sweet then a punch of salt
*it lost a point for not coming in the shape of Mickey Mouse
Also I have been writing about butter for a year and a half now, and I can't believe I didn't take a photo of the butter. That should be the first thing I change. Also this was posted the exact minute I was born hehe
On the first day of finals my teachers gave to me,
12 mental breakdowns
11 cups of coffee
10 pounds gained from stress eating
9 questions not covered in class
8 reasons to hate life
7 hours of procrastination,
6 hours of crying
5 all nighters
4 challenging tests
3 long essays
2 parents bothering me
1 hour of cram studying
I wish you all the best of luck on your final exams! This is the last post of 2018, and I hope that the year has treated you well, and if not, 2019 is only a few weeks away. It is time for a new year, new you. Happy Holidays, see you next year!
Softness 4/5, like whipped cream
Creaminess- 4/5, light and airy
Salt 5/5- not very salty, but very syrupy and maple
but I think you’ll get a 20/20 on all your exams!
Ye Olde Union Oyster House is the oldest restaurant in America. It’s weird to think that America started with 13 colonies, had one restaurant, and with time America now has 50 states and millions of restaurants.
This week is Hanukkah. Jewish boys and girls will be opening up 8 presents to celebrate the miracle of oil. In honor of my half-Jewish heritage, I have decided to give you 8 pieces of advice.
Creaminess 4/5, very dense
Saltiness- 3/5 not very salty at all, and had a butter taste
Spread- 3/5, it most likely would have been more helpful if the bread was not crumbly, and if the temperatures were above 32 degrees.
Have a happy Hanukkah and good luck on finals szn.
Hello! Long time no review! How is everyone doing? I've missed you!
My year is going pretty well so far. Its going great except for some spilled tea that got misconstrued, a few boring classes, and one all nighter.
On one of my many nights of procrastination, I re-watched an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (set in New York City) where the titular character has a happy place that she goes to when life goes south. Not that I have been kept in a bunker for 15 years, but I do know the feeling of wanting a quick escape.
My happy place is Butter in New York City. I went this summer, and had the best meal of my life. The restaurant was started by my favorite top chef, Alex Guarnaschelli, popularized by one of my favorite TV shows, Gossip Girl, and named after my favorite thing to blog about.
So whenever you need it, go to your happy place. Someone says a snide comment? You are at butter eating butter. Your English teacher thinks he is God? You are at Butter Midtown on 6th and 45th (only 5 streets down from your dream job at Rockefeller Center). Aeries is proving that college is a lost cause? You are spreading herb butter on a warm Hawaiian roll. You are in your happy place.
There were two types of butter given: a regular cream butter and an herb butter.
Creaminess: 5/5, not too dense but just the right consistency
Softness: 5/5, melts right away
Spreadability: 3/5 it didn't move much (like me for the past 16 years)
* it was olive oil based, so it is much lighter
Softness: 5/5, melts right away
Photo Above: Getty Images
Quote of the Month
"We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other"- Madeline