Hello my good friends, long time no review.
I type this in my air conditioned house fearing the outside heat of 113 degrees. Death Valley, the hottest place on record, is only 5 degrees warmer. I have never been to Death Valley nor would I ever wish to go there, but to me that is not the hottest place on Earth.
Thethree hottest places are:
The football field at graduation. I have yet to graduate, but at my eighth grade promotion practice, half of the girls got new dresses to hide their sun burns. Truly nothing is worse than waiting through all those speeches, and then all those names before you realize it's only been an hour and the caller is only at the "B" names.
The Santa Anita Mall parking lot after you have spent a couple hours in the cool Nordstrom air. Maybe you got in a heated argument with your mom about how much you REALLY need that shirt. Then you walk outside to find your car in the rows and rows of cars.
On that note, your car after it's in the sun. Everything about the car is hot, the seat (even if they aren't leather), the seat belt, and even the AC. It hasn't had time to cool down, so you turn it on and feels like a flamethrower.
I wish I were back in Maui. The hottest it ever got was 80, and I always had an ocean to jump into. Sometimes I take my body spray that I've had since the 5th grade (when everyone was obsessed with Bath and Body Works) and pretend it's the cool breeze of the Maui ocean. It's not the same.
Creaminess- 3/5 it was so dense
Softness- 4/5 light and soft on top, but hard on the bottom
Saltiness-4/5 pretty much tasted like butter but with a hint of salt
Let me know how you avoid the heat in the comments :))
Sometimes life really sucks. It's not fun to not get things you try for. It's not fun getting left on read. It's not fun that people are jerks, after you try so hard to be nice to them. Although, life is really damn long (it's literally a lifetime), and not every day can be a horrible day. Scientists discovered that there was a one in 400 trillion chance of you being born. One in 400 trillion chance that the world would not have the amazing, incredible you, to see every day. One in 400 trillion chance that you would not be someone's daughter, sibling, or best friend. One in 400 trillion chance, that you wouldn't be reading this butter blog. I may not have a super close relationship with this reader, but I am happy to have you in my life. So forget every bad day because the world is lucky to have you!
Anyway, I am happy that my one in 400 trillion chance was spent reviewing butter.
Softness- 5/5, melt in your mouth goodness
Creaminess- 4/5 dense, but since it was melting it didn't quite stick
Saltiness- 3/5, not salty, but the maple honey flavor was new for me
To me, Sacramento has just been a place where my favorite aunt lives. I didnt really have that much meaning until this weekend. It now means laughter, memories, and the best times I could have ever asked for.It means sleeping on a chair because I didn’t call the bed fast enough, making friends with people who have bandaids for our numerous blisters, and the continual search for water and chapstick. It means voting Aye to change “California” to “Cali”, voicing my opinions on bills, and being a member of the best delegation. It means tears of joy and tears of sadness that I won’t see some truly incredible people again. Sacramento, I love you
Softness- 3/5 but grainy Creaminess- 3/5 light and airy
Saltiness- 5/5 very salty
Spreadability- 5/5 it went over my pancake like the Olympic lugers
16/20 but a 25/20 weekend
Today is a very exciting day for Mudge! For the past 16 years, I’ve learned a few things and I thought I would share them with you.
1) If people aren’t that nice to you, don’t go out of your way to make them special if they won’t make you special
2) branch out and start something new (like joining an organization, starting a butter blog, meeting new people) can really work out for the best if you let it
3) bad vibes are not fun to have
4) if you throw an OP, make sure you can cover it up well
5) if people judge you for what you eat, you can eat them too
6) talk to your parents more (they’re actually kinda cool I bet)
7) everyone else is kinda bullshitting their way too
8) be on time to things (I recently found an old report card and I got a “needs improvement on arriving to school on time” just wait until I get my license and have to deal with LCHS parking)
9) trust your instinct a little more
10) drink lots of water (I know we all have hydroflasks, use them more!)
11) Take off your makeup before bed
12) sleep is about the healthiest thing you can do for yourself
13) Read the News section of Buzzfeed, or actually open that CNN notification a little more. There are so many interesting things going on outside of the bubble and it makes your problems seem insignificant.
14) Laugh when you find things funny and you shouldn’t care if others don’t
15) My phone is kinda ruining my life
16) That I’ve got so much more to learn
Softness- 5/5 dispersed throughout my mouth and
Creaminess- 4/5 very dense butter
Salt- 4/5 much like Fresno, the food had no flavor and was bland overall, the salty butter really packed a punch and created a difference in the bread
Spread- 4/5- With a lack of knives, I was subjected to using a fork, but it did spread well
Life is sort of like the first time you walk into the Fresno Cafeteria. You expect nothing much, but then you become pleasantly surprised by the little things. For me, that was 15, I really wasn’t expecting to have a good year, but thanks to a few good friends, a butter blog, and a whole lot of trying new things, it was pretty bomb and I can only hope 16 will be the same.
Good Morning Youths! We embark on our second trip out to the meth capital of California. This time we have one experience under our belts and still have so much to learn and do! Anyway, I ate this butter during a family group breakfast (which was great, because I have the best family group) and the butter was a mediocre way to start my day.
Softness-2/5 the butter was cold and hard like my soul
Creaminess-2/5 it was so thick and viscous
Salt-2/5 it had like no taste
Time is an irrelevant concept the week between Christmas and New Years. All day I thought it was Wednesday, only to be told it was Saturday and that tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Like when did that happen?! No, I am genuinely asking.
2017 was a little bit of a trashfire of a year, but I hope there was at least one nugget of goodness that happened. Whether you marched for your rights in the streets in January, celebrated your golden birthday, fell in love with Fiona the hippo, shed a tear when the Dodgers lost the world series, made a meme about salt bae or distracted boyfriend, became friends with new and exciting people in clubs that you joined, ate way too many McDonald's buttermilk crispy tenders, made some money, started a butter blog, or even got acrylic nails (that your mother advised against) that make it impossibly hard to type this out. I don't know if you enjoyed 2017, but I have a feeling that 2018 will be a great year and I can not wait to spend it with all of my butter fans.
Creaminess- 4/5, it was almost too dense and creamy
Saltiness- 4/5 I may as well have licked the bottom of the dead sea if I wanted something that salty
Also my favorite video that comes out at the end of the year is Google's Year in search which I highly recommend you watch trends.google.com/trends/yis/2017/GLOBAL/
and if you want a little more help feeling better about the end of 2017, check out this Buzzfeed posts
‘Twas the weekend before finals ,when all the through the city
Not a single high schooler was stirring not even to play with their kitty
The grades were low in the gradebook without much care
In hopes that break would soon be there
The children were nestled all snug in beds
While visions of straight A’s danced in their heads
And mamma in the kitchen yelling to get work done
How did she know that I had not begun
When out on the desk, the books arose such a clatter
As the pages turned to absorb all the subject matter
The confusing theorems, long essays, and stoichiometry dashed hopes
But it is Just four more days until they swoosh down snowy slopes
And rock in hammocks in Hawaii or catch up on all the missed sleep
Or even drive up the crest in new holiday cars, screaming “beep beep”
Just a few more words, or practice problems before we all give up
And swirl around the cold coffee in our cups
Now it’s the last day of finals, with what to my wondering eyes should appear
All that studying paid off for me to get into college and have a career
A career in Butter tasting I could only desire
But for now I’ll eat my fats with my Hanukkah fire
Anyway a review for nice warm butter that warmed my cold dead heart-
Softness- 3/5, It didn't move much and really needed motivation to get going (just like me this weekend)
Creaminess-4/5, it was pretty dense
Saltiness- 2/5, it had little taste
+1 for a table right on the Bay
Magic is real, and found in a quaint Oakland restaurant devoted to heavenly Mac and Cheese. While salivating over all the options, my eyes found “honey butter and a buttermilk biscuit” scribed on the page. You may wonder why I would have honey butter and a buttermilk biscuit before I eat a large plate of Mac and cheese. Carbs are my best friend, and if you have ever seen me in real life, you’d agree. Carbs will never leave you hanging, always stick with you (literally carbs never leave your body), and are always around when you need it.
Creaminess -3/5 wasn’t super dense
Salt- 3/5 not salty since it is honey butter, there was so much honey! I may have taken a straw to a bee hive, and there would have been the same effect.
Do you ever just have a really bad week? Like one of those weeks that you just can’t catch a break? That was my week this week,, and I was hoping to finally have a glimmer of hope in Butter. Unfortunately, that did not happen.
just like me in math class it just sat there not really Knowing what to do
Creaminess- 4/5 once it got moving it was heavy
The next best thing on a menu for an Australian steakhouse, aside from the congealed spicy sauce under a blooming onion, is the butter and bread. Recently Outback has not lived up to my usual standards, and has been feeling more like a Liam than a Chris Hemsworth.
Softness- 3/5- It was hard! I had to actually bite down and swish it around for it to be smooth
Salt 5/5- The bread is saltier than the Dead Sea,a nd compliments the bread well, what's there not to like?
Creaminess- There was a weird middle ground of staying in my mouth and slipping away
Photo Above: Getty Images
Quote of the Month
"We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other"- Madeline