I have a confession: I still play.
Not like with dolls, and dress up costumes, but with writing stories on my computer. I create little worlds, alter egos, characters, lives, deaths, and everything in between.
I write stories about my life through an alter ego named Sloane Taylor. She is outgoing, confident, formidable, and tender. She charms everyone she meets with her quick wit or funny one liners. She is not afraid to call out those who deserve it. Sloane Taylor is quite the opposite of MJ Miller.
I created Sloane Taylor after “WWBD? Or What Would Beyonce Do?” started trending my Freshman year. I do not know what Beyonce would do under the stress of 3 AP classes or the worry of a class presentation. Beyonce is probably not worried about impressing 35 teenagers with a slideshow about motifs in To Kill a Mockingbird, but MJ Miller is. Beyonce didn’t seem relatable to me, but Sloane Taylor did. Sloane Taylor was able to be molded to my life, my situations, to what I wanted to be in life.
I think my mom is suspicious about my playing, and still thinks I play. She isn’t wrong, but the reasons I do it are not the ones she’s thinking of, most likely. I play as a coping mechanism.
So when I do my complicated math homework, I do it as Sloane Taylor, because Sloane Taylor doesn’t struggle through basic trigonometry. I walk around school as Sloane because Sloane Taylor rules the halls. MJ Miller’s anxiety makes her want to crawl into a hole when she arrives on campus, for fear of one person not liking her. Sloane Taylor would tell someone to shove it if they said something mean about her. MJ Miller would internalize it.
MJ Miller ran to the bathroom Sophomore year in tears when she was called to the board to do a math problem- that was to her- undoable. Sloane Taylor tried her best, laughed it off, and sat back down- perfectly fine. Senior year MJ Miller admits to not knowing the answer, and being perfectly fine with it.
When MJ Miller bakes cookies for herself and friends, they somehow seem to disappear with each person who asks. People who probably don’t even know my name, or know me as anything but cookie girl. Sloane Taylor bakes cookies, and will tell people that they can not have a cookie. She uses her influence and power to be The Sloane Taylor not cookie girl.
Eventually Sloane Taylor slipped into me, and now there’s more cookies for me and my friends, not for the kid in my chemistry class that will probably not remember my kindness.
Sloane spends her time at hospitals brightening children’s days and is the president of her debutante program. I also spend time at children's hospitals and was a few votes short of becoming the president, but Sloane just does it better. Sloane is just better. The world is run by Sloane, and she knows it.
I said I used Sloane Taylor as a coping mechanism to get through the mundane, scary parts of high school. I used Sloane as the person I wanted to be and become over the course of four years. Sometimes I took her on to get a little confidence boost with teachers, class presentations, or even meeting new people. I used Sloane’s no care attitude to brush off hurtful comments, positions I lost in student government, or just not to care so much about the opinions of people who don’t know me or care about me. Maybe MJ Miller was Sloane Taylor all along, and she just didn’t know it yet.
- very airy
- it was nutmeg flavored but complimented the bread well
- okay it was just like a lot of nutmeg
- Very Soft
- The hot bread made it easy to spread, but I think it would be spreadable anyway
14/20- I would say one of the most accurate scores I have given.
Photo Above: Getty Images
Quote of the Month
"We love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other"- Madeline